I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
