You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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