sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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