No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
