she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
