It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
