I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
