uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
