If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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