I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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