His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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