You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
