So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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