You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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