this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
