Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Send help, water and tortillas.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
