I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
