I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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