I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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