Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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