You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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