Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
