Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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