C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
