I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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