I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
