Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize
