my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
