I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You're like the curious george of whores
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
