Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
