i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
