Please, let me fuck your mom
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
