Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
