No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
