Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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