we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
what day is it and did you see me today?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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