Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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