Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
