Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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