hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
