I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
