Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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