i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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