Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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