I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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