Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
