small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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