Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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