Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
