im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
